you'll never walk alone.
im so deeply hurt.
devasting truths that came to me all at once.
i didnt know why is this happening to me.
what have i done?
or what have i not done?
i just feel that its not worth living, after realising all that has happened.
from start to finish.
i dun believe that god wants this to happen.
im just not submitting into this... failure.
i want to continue, stay on.
but can someone just give me a chance? an opportunity?
i took all of them well, and its just not enough, i dunno why.
something that you cant do anything about.this is so stupid.
suicidal thoughts came to me at once.
but at least i stood strong.
i thought of sth else.
what if i distance myself from people?
will it be good? what if i quit? will it help?
its ironic that school can make me happy today.
pawan is always cheerful, and sometimes can just make you smile for the whole day.
i've only seen his negative side once, during the youth leader's summit.
sometimes you feel that forgetting everything will help.
but what if u cant get amnesia? its in your brain forever.
and this is the part where i suck.
whenever something bad happens, i just complain about it, and forget it the next day.
i didnt feel angry or sad the next day, i will just live life as it is.
but i didnt think of anything that might help change the problem.
i really need to change this habit of mine.
if not, im gonna regret everything in my life.
i want the world to end. i want him to come. now.
i cannot take it.
i just want everything to end.
god save the world.
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